Why It's Okay to Have Failed Friendships

It started out as any good friendship does-awkward at first, then slowly evolving into dinners together, secrets shared, and coffee dates. My kids called hers "cousins". We celebrated birthdays, life changes, and shared glasses of wine on many a summer night.

Then, without warning, the conversation stopped. The deafening silence was followed by a sudden pulling away.

No more coffee. No more secrets.

Just silence.

As much as I wanted to, I could not find a reasonable explanation as to why this person was suddenly quiet. Maybe I was trying too hard, expecting too much, disappointing her.

Was it something I said? My lack of fashion sense that finally got to her? Too many texts?

And just like that, it was over.

I suppose I could blame myself; I am a friend to a fault.

Instead, I allowed myself a time to mourn what I thought could have been, and I let it go. I could analyze all day long, but it won't make her suddenly appear and offer me an explanation for her sudden departure.

Maybe failed friendships aren't failures in themselves; maybe they are opportunities to examine ourselves and figure out how we can be better for the next person we will meet.

For someone who invests herself as deeply as I do, it's a reminder that I can still trust-not everyone who crosses my path is destined to leave at some point. At the same time, maybe they are. Who can know?

What I do know is that I can enjoy each interaction, each season, no matter how long it may last. There is something to gain, something to learn, even something to risk when we journey with others.

It may be that we drink the coffee, share the kids, and sip the wine only to find that the relationships doesn't pass the first year mark-and I'm here to tell you that it's okay.

You be your best you-be faithful, be kind, be consistent. That person won't be your last friend. Keep investing. Keep learning. Don't stop being a friend.

Even when it's quiet.