Jumping Back In

I haven't written.

I haven't allowed the thoughts in my heart to spill out onto the screen, onto paper, into social media.

And it's because I've been mad: mad at the lack of routine, mad at the hot summer, mad at loud kids and living with in-laws and no job for the husband. Mad at not having money and (gulp...honesty here) having to even apply for food stamps, let alone USE them.

Mad at the noise, in the not-our-house and in my heart.

Wanting to write, and not doing it.

And I kept reading her posts, my blog-hero and the one I wish I could have coffee with. The one I've never met in real life, but who's heart I read on the screen, across the miles. It brought that encouragement to keep walking, to keep loving on those kids who are still sleeping on air mattresses and couches while the apartment is being readied.

I've compared. My blog isn't "finished", not polished. The summer has not looked like what I wanted, with a calendar of fun activities and a settled home.

I've decided that the safe thing to do is wait until it's perfect, Pinterest-worthy and polished.

The brave thing to do is publish it now, without the pictures lined up and the words are spell-checked.

The summer is over, the plans are falling into place. Perfection will never come, the noise may never subside.

I'm clicking the button.

#brave #imperfect #blogheroes